Hello lovelies, how are you all doing?
I am currently high up in the air, above the clouds, on a flight to Berlin. I am thinking about how new experiences can open up doors to better mental health, and how they can be such a challenge. Whether you’re venturing to another country, or just outside your front door for the first time in a while, that feeling of being on the edge of your comfort zone can be a really difficult one to overcome, and one that is so brave to face.
I remember when simply going to the shops would just fill me with dread, making me feel like I was being watched and judged, like I was exposing my failure, making myself vulnerable. I was so apprehensive about it, about being seen by others, about having to look around for the right items, about having to talk to the cashier, who would surely see right through me and convey their judgement with a look in their eyes.
That’s how much it all escalated in my head. When, of course, reality was nothing like my imaginings. But that’s difficult to see when you’re right in the middle of it, when the feeling in your gut seems much more real than any reassurances or logical assessments.
It’s a difficult situation to advise on. I am not sure how I got over it. I think what really helped in the end was when I finally admitted that I needed rest, accepted that it was okay to take a break, and settled down on my parent’s couch for weeks and weeks, not doing anything other than resting. I wasn’t blogging, I wasn’t trying to work, I wasn’t studying, I wasn’t cooking, I wasn’t cleaning, I wasn’t working out, I wasn’t socialising, I wasn’t doing anything other than watching Broadchurch and gaining some weight back.
And that let my mind recover. I just needed a complete time-out, a break from absolutely everything. It was as though all my thoughts suddenly slowed down, the dust settled a little, my life stopped feeling like a massive upheaval. And slowly, going to the shops started feeling more manageable. it became less of a daunting task, and more like a part of everyday life.
And my horizons only kept expanding. Until, now, I can see the skyline stretching out before me, hear the pilot announcing that we are about to land, and know that I will be okay in this new adventure.