Yesterday and today I’ve been a bit down, been feeling a little low, a little blue. But there you go, there’s good days and there’s bad days and there’s nothing to be done about it. The most important thing is to make sure that it doesn’t prevent me from going to London tomorrow, because that would really be bad.
It’s a bit chaotic and loud in my house these days because my sister and her family are here for Easter. When the house is crowded and full of noise I kind of disappear into myself. My mood can suffer from it and I feel restricted and tense, like I don’t have my space, mentally or physically. It keeps me from doing things like yoga and meditation, because those things are difficult for me when there is a lot going on, and the extra clutter and mess gets to me much more than it should. I love my family so much and I really wish I didn’t react like this to us all being together. It’s something I need to learn some coping techniques for.
My mood isn’t low just because of the noise and chaos though, mostly it’s my illness making itself known. It comes and goes and right now it’s just there. I’m feeling quite overwhelmed by it and it has paralysed me a little.
However, I’ve packed my suitcase, my book and my parents’ camera and tomorrow morning I’ll leave the noise behind and catch a flight and cross the sea. How wonderful. I just need to stay afloat until I get onto that flight, so that it won’t be called off last minute.