Being Worthy

Hello lovelies, hope everyone’s having a nice Tuesday!

I’ve had a perfect morning which included my morning coffee and my book both joining me in bed. It’s a rainy day, but I’m cosy inside so no matter!

Last night I was at my friend’s place drinking tea and eating grapes and having a good, long chat, and I had a very pleasant evening. My friend said that I was such a calm person to be around, and that made me really happy because I’ve felt like the opposite was true for a really long time now.

Since becoming ill, I’ve felt like my anxiety made me into such unsettling company, like I was high-strung and angsty and nervous and tense. It made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of people’s time, and it made me over-compensate, trying to make up for being such ‘terrible company’. So I would always try to fill every silence with something interesting, constantly talking about something new, always moving on from every topic way to quickly, and I think it just made conversations really scattered and jittery.

Now I feel a bit more confident that people actually enjoy my company (why else would they be spending time with me?), and I relax more around them, which I think is making a big difference to how conversations go, and by extension how I feel about myself; more worthy of their time and more positive about who I am.

Has anyone else struggled with feeling like they’re not ‘good enough’ to be taking up people’s time? How have you coped with that?

Lots of love,

Hannah xx

6 thoughts on “Being Worthy

  1. Mike Ridenour says:

    I’ve done a lot of overcompensating for my lack of confidence in people liking my company by trying to make myself seem better than I really am. I’ve bragged, boasted and embellished to make myself seem more interesting and therefore, in my mind, be worthy of their time.

    I’ve since learned that honesty about my strengths and weaknesses are far more appealing to others and I’m far less isolated than I once was.

    I still have to be intentional in cultivation real relationships based on the real me rather than trying to build my own personal fan club.

    Liked by 1 person

    • hannahgreenexx says:

      You’re showing such honesty and openness now though! I think overcompensating is something that’s so easy to do, especially when you’re not so sure of yourself. Your honesty here is definitely appealing, I’m glad to hear it’s made things better for you.
      Thanks so much for reading and following!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. nonentiti says:

    Hi Hannah,

    Thanks for liking my post. I am touched by your story and I agree that a blog is a wonderful way to deal with problems. I have published (as the editor, not the writer) a free eBook of poetry written by people who are dealing with similar problems. It is free because I wanted as many as possible people to share these experiences.
    If you are interested, this is the link: http://mebooks.co.nz/sprung-from-the-heart-ebook?search=sprung%20from%20the%20heart
    Or you can find it on my website: http://www.nonentiti.com
    All the best.

    Liked by 1 person

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