I just watched this Ted Talk on Youtube, and it’s about how we talk about love as something which just happens to us, involuntarily and out of our control. Mandy Len Catron, the speaker, suggests we change the way we talk about love, and one part really appealed to me: she suggested that we step into love, rather than fall in love.
And it all just really spoke to me, because the last time I experienced love it really did feel like it was out of my control, like I was falling in love. And now I just think this idea of stepping into love, like Mandy suggests, of your own free will, because it is your own choice, sounds so much better.
She quoted George Lakoff and Mark Johnson, from their book Metaphors We Live By:
If love is a collaborative work of art, then:
Love is an aesthetic experience
Love is unpredictable
Love is creative
It requires communication and discipline
It’s frustrating and emotionally demanding
It involves both joy and pain
Each experience of love is different
I’ve read many poems about love, but these words really struck a chord with me. I just love this wonderful idea of love. That is is creative, I’ve never heard that before, imagine that, working on love, together, the way you might work at a paining or a piece of writing. How lovely. Striving for it to be the best that it can be. Forming and shaping it into what you want it to be, purposefully, with an intention.
It all just sounds like such an empowering concept, taking all the actions of love and controlling them, rather than just letting it all happen to you. Being mindful and purposeful in your words and choices. Of course it is of vital important that this control happens openly, with both you and your partner as equal parts in the creation of it.
I hope that the next time I experience love, I can step into it. Create it, intentionally.