Stripped bare

I have felt as though my illness took my life away.

I have felt that all my accomplishments were lost and invalidated.

Because everything in my life changed. I lost my job and my flat, I had to leave London and all my friends there. All the everyday little things, my yoga, my shops, the route that I walked everyday, the places I had lunch, the people I worked with, the markets I went to on the weekend, my local park. There was just nothing left.

Until now I have not been able to see it as anything but defeat. All was lost. Scraped down to the bare bones.

But now I am beginning to see it differently. I am beginning to see that it wasn’t quite everything that was lost. The essentials remain. My family is still here. I have reconnected with old friends from my home town. My friends in London are still there. Ready to see me should I return.

I still have myself. My thoughts and ideas and values and dreams.

Now it is as though I was stripped bare in order to realise my life anew. With a blank canvas. There is nothing but the bare essentials left, and I am free to do whatever I want.

I just need to figure out what that is.

8 thoughts on “Stripped bare

  1. Invisibly Me says:

    This echoes what I’ve been feeling lately. It’s like a kind of bereavement, for the things you feel you’ve lost, the part of yourself that isn’t the same, the life you thought you would have that is now so different. It’s refreshing to see a different perspective and I think you’re totally right, it just takes time to come around to it and see it differently. You’re free and I think you/we need to accept what has been lost or changed, and appreciate that underneath everything the ‘bare essentials’ that make you ‘you’ are still there. It’s a chance to start again, reimagine yourself and your life. Just wanted to say I love this post and wanted to send a hug… Caz x

    Like

    • hannahgreenexx says:

      Hi Caz, thanks so much for reading and your comment! It’s definitely a bereavement of sorts, my therapist even said I was grieving the loss, but I think you’re right about just needing the time to process. Hope you/we can find acceptance very soon xxx

      Like

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