I have managed one of my bigger goals. I climbed a mountain and it felt, as expected, great. The weather is nice today, and there was a crisp feeling in the air. I felt close to victorious. Even better though, on the way down I was thinking about my life as though I could stand to live it, and that is a great reward.
Compared with yesterday, which ended in a full blown panic attack, I’m feeling very good, so I’m counting today as a happy day in spite of the hopeless feeling stuck in my chest. These days I keep feeling as though I am just waiting for my life to begin again, like I am stuck. I just want things to start happening. Oh well.
Exercise definitely helps when dealing with depression, and it is strange that I do not do it every day, when I know so very well that it will always make me feel better. The lethargy keeps me from doing it, and I should be more wary of letting it get its ghastly grip on my shoulders. My new exercise goal will be to climb a mountain at least once a week.
As for my other goals, I am still keeping a good routine for brushing my teeth, washing my face and taking my medication every morning and evening, and it’s strange that I should derive such a sense of triumph from such a small, inconsequential thing, but there you go. Otherwise I did for the first time get up before 10 o clock today, so that is good, but I have yet to see a friend and cook dinner for my family. Tomorrow is another day.
I feel quite empty, like climbing the mountain was the peak of my day and now there is just the anti-climax left, and I’m not sure what to do with myself. Maybe I’ll tidy a little. Anyway, there you are, I climbed a mountain.